Elysienne

So I was walking back from the gate today and I literally stopped mid-step because the trees in my society are COVERED in flowers rn. like when did this happen?? i swear they didn't look like this even a week ago, I would've noticed. i just stood there for way longer than necessary tbh. they're so pretty, like that pink you only see in those cherry blossom pics from japan on Pinterest, except this is just my society, on a random day, for no reason. no one planted them to look like that. no one's out here specially watering them. they just bloomed whenever they felt like it. which is kind of crazy when you think about it, like pretty things really just take their own time and don't ask anyone first. anyway i got so obsessed i picked up a few that had fallen on the ground and pressed them into my journal lol. idk why but i liked the idea that even on days i don't write anything, i'll open it and there they'll be, just sitting there being pretty. and ok...

So lately i've just been letting life do whatever it wants tbh. like some days are just heavy for literally no reason, some days pass by and i don't even remember them, and then some random day just sticks with me and i genuinely could not tell you why. i've started noticing all these tiny things lately, like how the air feels right before it rains, or how time just slows down when i'm stuck in my head thinking about nothing, or this weird comfort in just... watching the world do its thing around me. i literally call myself an autumn girl and i've never even seen autumn once in my life lol. it's just rain here basically. but idk maybe that's actually the whole point? like you don't need some perfect aesthetic moment to feel something. a boring grey sky can hit just as hard as golden leaves if you actually let it. we spend so much time waiting around for the right person, the right moment, the right whatever. but honestly life's already giving us e...

  Ok, so real talk, I blog not bc i have life figured out (i very much do not) but bc writing gives me some peace, and also bc yelling into a Google Doc is apparently how i process things now. it helps me clear my head even if literally no one reads it, which, statistically, is probably true for like 80% of these posts. it's basically become my way of figuring out what i'm feeling without spiraling about every single little thing for six hours straight. also yes, i journal literally everything. the big stuff, the tiny stuff, stuff that genuinely does not matter at all but i wrote three paragraphs about it anyway. if something mildly interesting happens to me there's a solid chance it's getting documented somewhere, no exceptions. there's something so weirdly comforting about just. putting your thoughts into words instead of letting them run laps in your head all day. it's like talking to yourself except this version doesn't ask follow up questions, doesn...